Drowning in the moon's reflection
by EarthFae
Summary: Fem!IchigoxAizen Dark AU. (Possible oneshot, may continue) Now that she is concubine to the man who stole the throne of heaven, Ichigo reflects on Aizen and what she and the world has become under it's new God and the man himself, who now owns her.
1. Prize

She tries to fell herself, when she is feeling most disgusted at herself, that it is the work of the Kyoka Suigestu. But inside she knows that is not the case, Ichigo has grown to known Aizen too well. He takes pride in his illusions, there was no doubt about that, but he took even greater pride in breaking someone down with his words and skill. Even after the breaking of Absolute Hypnosis, Hinamori had wanted to save him even after he had stabbed her, even after he had caused her stabbing the second time, she still wanted to save him from the darkness. But Hinamori could never bring herself to see the truth, Aizen was not consumed by darkness, he is darkness.

Hinamori never learned that, and she was now dead to prove to others of the folly of loving Aizen. If Ichigo has any pride left, it is the fact that she has not brought herself to love this God of darkness and souls, even if she shared his bed. Yes, she had learned to fear him, respect him, and even be in awe of him, but never to love him, and oddly not hate him either.

Yet, she should hate him. He has stolen her world from her. She doesn't know how much of her family and friends still live, but she knows even if they breathe she will more than likely never see them again. He has brought her down from a great warrior into a mere slave. She should hate him, but she does not. She reasons it's because if she hates him, that will give him more power than over her than he already has. So she keeps her neutrality to him. Or at least tries too.

She knows he tries to get a rise out of her. He may made her into his docile doll, but he still likes to see her fire, her air of defiance. And Ichigo wants to show it, but she knows well enough that if she does it will be used against her. Every meal is a test. Every touch and every fuck is a test.

His calm and polite voice telling her of what the atrocities his arrancar armies had committed. The way he so casually explains the people who are tortured and killed to define his reign. That good damn smirk when he uses his spiritual pressure on her when she gets feed up enough to attack him.

Oh, how she has fallen. Of course, the only thing worse than his spiritual pressure is what he does after. Whether it is at the table, or after (or even during) a fuck. He pulls her into his arms and strokes the orange hair that he has made her grow long. He whispers comforts with that smoothing voice of his. What's worse of all, for a few moments she wants to believe it.

She remembers in school learning of the myth of the most beautiful angel who became the devil. The myth fits the man who holds her, so perfectly. He is beautiful, Ichigo will not lie to herself about that. It is not just his face, but his voice, his actions and grace. Aizen has crafted himself into the perfect being, like Lucifer though, his beauty is only a trick, a distraction from the pure darkness and temptation that Aizen is.

During her hours that she is free of him, she walks along the mostly deserted corridors of the palace, not wanting to be in her room, where she feels like a songbird in a gilded cage, she doesn't want the turncoat shinigami and arracanars to see her. Occasionally, she will see her former enemies who will look at her with either gloating, neutral, or worse of all the occasionally pitying eyes. She hates to run into women who envy her position and see her as Aizen's temptress. She laughs at such a thought, openly and bitterly. To accuse anyone of being a temptation to Aizen is the height of naivety.

It is one morning, where she is sitting with him as he sips his tea and tells her in a voice, not arrogant, but smooth of his how he has finally crushed his final shinigami resistance and only a few outlines remained. Who would soon be hunted down.

"I thought the defeat of my enemy's and my secure position as Soul King would be the prize I took the greatest pleasure in, but I have found it is not." Aizen sits down his tea cup and looks up at her with that smirk she despised, but made herself not hate. She keeps her eyes blank as she looks at him. Not saying a word.

"The prize...I have taken the most pleasure in is subduing of the creature so powerful, strong, and rare that once no man could ever think of touching her." He pushes a strange of orange hair out of her face. For the first time in months, Ichigo looses her composure and weeps in front of Aizen.

It is too damn true...he has molded and subdued her into exactly what he wanted. He had drowned her in his poison and changed who she was.

She was forever trapped by this man who had stolen the throne of heaven.

**This was written totally on a whim. I don't know if I'll continue it, or just leave it as a oneshot. Just depends if I get anymore inspiration for it.**

**Also if you are a you are a yoai fan here to flame me for writing a Fem!Ichigo, please go away. Your flames won't make me change or delete this story. There are plenty of Male Ichigo/Aizen fanfics out there for you.**


	2. Trapped

Ichigo only gets glimpses of the world now, even though she is the false God's caged songbird; she knows little of Aizen's world. However, she is not sure if she wants to see it fully. She is rarely taken out of the palace and when she is; it is for ceremony. Unlike the previous Soul King, Aizen has no desire to hide his existence from the humans on earth. He wants all three realms and all creatures to bend to his will.

Aizen's takeover of earth is not the destruction that many would thought it would be. Many welcome the new God, weary over the world where humans constantly killed each other and the earth. They welcomed the beautiful, soft spoke God. Of course, Nations rose up and tried to defeat him, but in the end they were no match for the new God. Under Aizen's control the national boarders of the earth were removed and all humans were now united under him. War was forbidden. The earth was being handled much better. In a way, many humans preferred this to the previous world order. Under Aizen the future of their children were concerned, but with a price. With Aizen there is always a price, even with his generosity. Of course, like most things with Aizen his generosity is a mere illusion.

The humans, almost like her, live in a gilded cage. They may be free of poverty, war, and pollution, but they are all under Aizen's every command. They must do as he says and not defy any law. One step out of line can summon the arrancars to their door. Ah, the arrancars, in a way they had become the monsters under the bed of the human world, except that these were all too real. The humans who committed any crime or attempt any defiance, no matter how minor, had their souls eaten by hollows and arrancars. Aizen makes no attempts to keep this a secret.

He makes the condemning of these souls into public speculates, broadcast throughout the world. Ichigo remembers a time when she was invited to attend one (of course, in reality she had no choice) she sat with the most stoic composure she could imagine as the condemned humans were lead out like the gladiators of ancient Rome into arenas were they were forced to fight against hollows. She hears the screams, but Ichigo doesn't protest. She doesn't cry. She doesn't beg Aizen for any mercies, and she doesn't look away. She just gripped the ends of her armrest until her knuckles grow white. An action not lost on the ever observant Aizen, who calmly offers her a drink to smooth her nerves. Ichigo knows that any plea of mercy she asked would likely make things worse for the humans in the arena, Aizen might prolong their deaths. The best thing to happen in the arenas is for the humans to die easily and fast.

Then a surprise comes to her that makes her let out a gasp. A shinigami forced into the arena. She doesn't recognize him and is thankful, even though it is cruel to think that way; she can not help it. Ichigo did not want a friend to see her up here sitting with Aizen as his slave, and watching their demise, helplessly. No that would have been far too much. The shinigami is not put up against a hollow, but...Grimmjow. Her eyes widened and she sat up much straighter.

She could see Aizen subtly studying her reaction out of the corner of his eye, but for once she didn't care what emotions he saw out of her. She watched as her former rival stalked out like a panther to his shinigami. To anyone watching he would have looked like he was about to enjoy the fight. But she caught a glimpse of those blue eyes and face. He had no pleasure in this. That didn't seem like Grimmjow, not to take pleasure in a fight. For once, she turns and speaks to Aizen.

"What the hell have you done to him?" She demands of him, boldly. It is for the first time in a long time she has shown such defiance to him. She can tell the ends of his mouth are resiting the urge to form into a smirk. She has handed him the reaction he wanted out of her.

"What did I do to him?" He asks in a voice, almost innocent; but she knew nothing is ever truly innocent with Aizen.

"I know Grimmjow, well enough to know when he is not himself." She states to the false God.

"You really think so? They only times you really interacted with him, my dear, was when you were fighting with him."

"Is there a better way to get to know, Grimmjow?" She asked, rhetorically. Now, he is not hiding his damn smirk.

"No, there is not, I believe. You are correct." He says nothing else and Ichigo does not feel the need to say anymore. She knows that this is another game Aizen is playing with her; and as in all Aizen's games with her, she has no idea what the rules are. So with little other choice; Ichigo sits back and watches the fight. It was a rather pathetic fight. It is clear from the start the shinigami was mere cannon fodder to Soul Society.

"Do you have all the prisoner shinigami fight in these arenas on earth?" She asks him, she shouldn't, but curiosity gets the best of her. What she is curious about; she is not sure. Perhaps it is to know how Aizen deals with shinigami who go against him. Perhaps it is too merely see how cruel he is. That is the part of Aizen that is most scary; you can never tell the depths of his cruelty because he almost never directly reveals in it. She remembers hearing the story of how Grimmjow lost his arm to Tousen. She could tell immediately that the benevolent master act that Aizen showed was just that. An act. He had manipulate Tousen into doing something horrible to Grimmjow. In a way that made Aizen even more frightening. If he didn't hurt you, he could easily manipulate others to do it for him.

"No not all." He answers her. His hands grasp a tea cup and he sips it. It is almost humorous with the rowdy drunkenness that surrounded this place; the man who is the cause of this, is merely sipping tea. As though he is in at an art show, or a sophisticated smoothing event. Then again, with Aizen this just might be a smoothing artful event to him.

"What happens to the other shinigami prisoners?" She has no idea where her sudden curiosity is coming from. What good would it do her to know what is happening to the shinigami prisoners? Some people naively believed that since she was the woman to share Aizen's bed; that he must have some sort of soft spot for her. Oh, the sheer naivety of that disgusts her. It is true, as long as she doesn't fall for Aizen's provocations and doesn't attack him he will not harm her. And even when he does it is just spiritual pressure. She knows it is not because he cares about her. He just doesn't want to ruin his prize.

"They are kept locked away in Soul Society for proper trial and judgment." At this she gives him a look of disbelief. No, not disbelief, because she knows he's lying. And he knows damn well that she knows he's lying.

"Aizen, don't play this game with me. What can I do about what happens to the shinigami in Soul Society?" He looks at her.

"Oh..that's a good question. What _can_ you do?" Another test. One that Ichigo doesn't want to take; instead she looks back at the arena to see that Grimmjow has already left his opponent a bloody pulp on the ground. The crowd roars and cheers. She wants shout and scream at them. You damn fools, can't you see that you are cheering for your own oppression? This isn't for the benefit of humans. It was a reminder of their place in this new God's world. The crowd begins to chant Grimmjow's name. She takes from this that he must be a crowd favorite; that he has been out here before. She studies her old rivals expression and it's not a happy one. She remembers the glee in those mad blue eyes when they first meet and fought as he beat her face to a bloody pulp. There is none of that joy of fighting in there. What the hell has happened to you, Grimmjow, she wonders. Then he turns his head up to Aizen's seat and his eyes widen in shock. She knows what the shock is. It's her being here. Their eyes lock on each other. Then Grimmjow's eyes narrow into a glare at her and he turns and stalks out. This action is unnoticed by the crowd as they continue to cheer his name.

That was the last time she saw Grimmjow or any of the Espada for the next several months.

Grimmjow doesn't cross her mind, very much after that. Another thing has started to worry her; her health. She finds herself being sick almost every morning. Ichigo can hardly keep her breakfast down. Aizen asks her if she wants to see a doctor, but she says no. He doesn't push the subject. She wonders if Aizen doesn't care about keeping his prize healthy anymore, or if he thinks it isn't a big. However, she comes to realize his lack of concern is the fact that he knew exactly what was the cause of her sickness.

One morning when she is dressing, she notices a bulge in her stomach. She doesn't understand. She has been throwing up most of her food. She shouldn't have any weight gain. Then it all comes together...her sickness and the bulge. She almost stops breathing at the realization. She lets out a scream and starts tearing at the ends of her dress. She lets out a string of swears and cuss words. The stoic composer she has worked so hard to build is completely breaks down as she runs around the room as a mad woman.

And she is truly a mad woman. She rips down curtains knocks down furniture, book cases, and all sorts of paintings and vases. Her screams continue to echo the room. Tears are streaming down her face as she collapses in a heap. She stops her screams and just begins to weep, as she balls up her fists until her knuckles are a pure white. Ichigo barely registers the door opening and a gasp.

It is her female arrancar attendant.

"What's going on here?" She cries, and Ichigo hears footsteps approach her and a hand lay hesitantly on her back.

"Mistress?" The arrancar females asks hesitantly, "Are you all right." Ichigo slowly raises up.

"No." She answers her and wipes the wetness from her eyes. She then gets up, and the arrancar is at her side

"Mistress, tell me what's wrong? I am sure I can help you." You could only help me know, if you happened to have the power to cause an abortion, Ichigo thinks bitterly, but then her mind flashes back to Grimmjow and the look of disgust he had given her. This gives her an idea; a hope.

"I am going out." She announced to the female arrancar. She hears a gasp,

"But mistress, the skirt of your dress is in shreds." Ichigo looks down to realize the damage she had done to her dress in her rage is worse than she realized.

"I'll change." She turns back in the direction of the closet, stepping over the fallen furniture. She hears the arrancar following her.

"Mistress!" She calls again, "I can't stop you; but I advise you not to go out. You just destroyed an entire room!" Ichigo doesn't turn back to the arrancar and goes into the closet and pulls off the tattered dress and changes into a fresh one.

"I am going out." She tells the arrancar much to the obvious disappointment on her face. Ichigo walks past her.

"Well, I best...clean up." The female arrancar sighs. Ichigo knows she should feel guilty about causing such a mess for another to clean up, but right now she has more important things on her mind. Like finding Grimmjow. She left her room and started walking to a place she hadn't gone since she first entered this place. The front of the palace. Slowly, the halls started to get more populated. She got more looks at surprised that Aizen's prize concubine and former enemy was among them without an escort, or any sign of Aizen. She ignored them, but she did catch glares from several female arrancar, but ignored them. She could hear whispers in her wake, but ignored them as well. Then she began asking for Grimmjow. She knew word would get back to Aizen about this, but right now she didn't give a single fuck about what Aizen heard.

Finally, she made her way outside into a sparing area. It took several moments, but she finally located Grimmjow in the air, sparing with, what she guessed, was a new member of his fraction. For a good while she said nothing and just stared up at him. Finally, the fight came to an end and the sixth Espada came back down to earth. Then he spotted her. Her heart was beating fast as this blue eyes laid on her. He blinked a few times, as though he wasn't sure she was a vision or something else. Then she stepped forward. Grimmjow narrowed his eyes like daggers at her, but he floated over to her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" His voice graveled, "Did Aizen-Sama let you out of your cage?" His tone is harsh and mocking, as it usually is. However, she had been with Aizen long enough to not rise to any bait so easily.

"I want to speak with you...alone." Grimmjow hesitates and cuts his eyes to the side, as he thinks. For a moment, Ichigo fears that he'll just blow her off, but his eyes cut back toward her.

"Better make it damn quick." Ichigo nods at him and together they walk into an empty corridor. Now the former rivals are alone.

"I know you don't like me." Ichigo says and Grimmjow snorts.

"At least I could respect you back then, but now your Aizen's whore."

"You say that like it was my choice." She responds evenly, Grimmjow turns and looks as though he is about to leave.

"I'm pregnant." She tells him and this stops him in his tracks. He doesn't look back at her and Ichigo calmly walks up behind him.

"I am giving you a chance for revenge on Aizen and me. Beat me up, as hard as you can, and as long as you want." At this request, Grimmjow makes a sharp turn to her.

"Have you lost your fuckin' mind woman! Has fucking Aizen made you loose your mind. If I make you lose that baby; Aizen would kill me." Ichigo winces at Grimmjow's harsh, but truthful tone.

"He doesn't have to know."

"You really have lost your mind, woman. Of course, he knows. You really think he would have a kid on accident?" She looks away. He speaks the truth, she knows. But at the same time she has gone mad, she destroyed her room.

"Grimmjow...I'm sorry." She whispers.

"Go away, woman and throw yourself down the fuckin stairs." He got closer to her. Then Ichigo stands on her tiptoes and kisses the beast on his forehead. He is startled for a moment, but then backs away. She stars at him.

"Thank you, Grimmjow...and goodbye." With that she leaves him to what? She doubt even the true God knows.


	3. A dark fate

Ichigo's mind and heart are scattered in pieces all around her. She doesn't want to touch them because she knows they will cut right into her bone if she dares too. She barely registers who she passes as she makes her way back deeper into the palace, into the sanctuary of her cage. She is not expecting him to be there; but at the same time she it does not surprise her that he is.

He stands calmly in the center of the room, in the midst of the pitiful attempt of her female arrancar attendant to try and fix things. He turns and stares at her. His gaze is not angry, but then again, it is never angry.

"Ichigo." His voice is calm and gentle, "-why did you destroy your beautiful room?" His voice is far too innocent for her tolerance levels. She can't take his mocking of her today.

"You know damn, well why!" She screeches at him and for a moment she feels as if she is about to go into a rage again, but barely restrains herself.

"I am afraid I am not sure what you are talking about." He states, and approaches her. His voice and face carry no mocking tone, or subtle smirk. He is playing himself completely innocent this time. She glares.

"I am not in the mood to play this game, Aizen." She steels herself against his approach; her eyes never leaving his.

"I am not sure what you are talking about, Ichigo." He is now upon her. His face looks completely kind at moments like this. No sign of hidden motive, or anything. It makes her absolutely sick. Without another thought, she raises her hand and tried to hit him. But he is too fast. The spiritual pressure is all around her in a moment, crushing her, suffocating her. She falls to the ground at his feet. She knows it lasts only a few seconds in reality, but feels so much longer. She feels him kneel down beside her.

"Ichigo." His voice is tender and full of concern; as though he wasn't the cause of her position on the floor. "Ichigo." He repeats again, as he helps her to sit up. He takes her and presses her to her chest and smooths out her orange hair. A familiar ritual that they go through every time he uses his spiritual pressure on her

"Now, was that anyway to handle what was upsetting you? Now tell me what is going on?" He can make himself so damn innocent and right now Ichigo wants to attack him again; but she knows it's a useless dream to even attempt it on him. She pulls away from him and looks him in the eye. She keeps the expression of her face completely neutral.

"I'm pregnant." She tells him. The moment those words are out, she loses all strength and starts to weep again. Damn, how she hates to cry in front of him. She feels Aizen wrap one around around her shoulder and press another one to her lower stomach. She then feels a warm pulse over her stomach. Her body welcomes the warmth after the previous attack, but Ichigo mind panics and she pulls away, clutching her stomach.

"What the hell were you doing?" She demands of him. He doesn't look offended...but he then again never does.

"Why Ichigo...I was just making sure you weren't mistaken. But it looks like you are not." He smiles at her. That smile makes her stomach turn. How dare he even _pretend_ too act happy about this. Then a sinister thought occurs to her. He probably is happy. She thinks back to Grimmjow's words on Aizen not having a child by accident. But why the hell would Aizen want her pregnant? She doesn't even want to think about that now. There is too much stress on her mind for her to wonder what sick things that this monster with an angel's face could do to her baby. She feels his arm, as he helps her to rise up.

"Now...that is revealed...would you like to take a bath?" He asked, gently. She doesn't want to give into any of his suggestions, but right now she wants to be away from him. So she simply nods. He lets her go and she walks to the bathroom. She strips with little thought and crawls into the tub and turns the hot water on. Once the faucet is off, she can hear the sounds of things being moved outside. It looks like the things she destroyed were being replaced.

She doesn't want to leave the water. Ichigo doesn't want to leave and have to face the world again. She closes her eyes and drifts off. When she opens then again, the water is cold and her hands wrinkly. She carefully steps out of the tub and dries herself. Graving a nightgown that was left for her. She prayed that Aizen would be asleep by now. This was going to be a long nine months.

During her pregnancy, Ichigo has no desire for anyone to see her. She doesn't want the looks, accusations, or anything. Ichigo wonders if Grimmjow has told the arrancars of her pregnancy. However she does not think so. She hopes she is right. She barely leaves her room. Her female arrancar attendant becomes more and more fussy over her. The arrancar seems to think as though carrying a child makes her a child herself. Ichigo ends up having to tell her to leave her alone more times than she wants too.

As for Aizen, he is the model of an expectant father. This annoys her to no end. He is kind, patient, and gentle with her. He makes sure she has everything she needs and is always asking her how she is feeling. Oh, she hates the act he puts up. But in the back of Ichigo head she thinks that perhaps he is truly concern for the child...but likely for sinister motives. Ichigo wonders if Aizen would use his own child in an experiment. But then again why would he go through the trouble of waiting nine whole months for a test subject when the world was full of abandoned babies.

She can only think of the worse...and what else can you think of when it comes to Aizen, but the worse? Her belly is growing day by day. She can do nothing to stop it. Even if she could, she doesn't want to risk Aizen's wrath and besides he can easily impregnate her again, if he wishes too. So she sees no option other than letting this baby grow and come into this dark world. One day, out of the blue; Aizen asks her a question. It is truly a test; like most of his questions are. He hasn't given her a test since he found out about her pregnancy.

"On that day..you destroyed that room-" He begins casually over tea. "-I heard you went to the front of the palace where the Espada were and spoke to Grimmjow." She looks over at him. That was months ago. Why would he bring that up now.

"Yes, I did." There is no use in lying about it. It would only make things worse for her in the end. She has learned short, but blunt answers are the way to go. Any long explanations will only cause him to turn her words against her.

"Why did you go and see him?" He continues. She looks at him with a dead stare.

"I think you can figure that out easily." She replies. She know Aizen damn well knows. She had gone insane at her discovering of her pregnancy. Ichigo would have done anything to get rid of it.

"Actually, I can't. Out of all the people you would go too, why Grimmjow?" He wants her answer.

"I wanted him to beat me up so I could miscarry." She now says. The truth is always best around Aizen, ironically. He will only turn your lies against you in the end. His eyes widened, at this and he looks shocked. To any outsider, they would think Aizen was sincere in his shock. But she knows very well it is an act. Everything about him is an act, a show, a trick.

"Was carrying my child truly that terrible?" His tone sounds hurt. Ichigo isn't falling for it for a second.

"Yes, it is." Her tone is cold, once again to an outsider she would seem cold. However, in reality this is her way of self-preservation.

"Is it still that bad?" He asks her. She blinks and thinks this carefully. Ichigo hadn't gone again into the crying fit she had when she first learned she was pregnant; but at the same time she knew she was far from happy.

"I have learned to live with it." She tells him, finally. Aizen averts his gaze, something rare for him. He usually likes to keep you in eye contact.

"I think when you hold our daughter you will change your mind." Then he cuts his gaze back to see Ichigo's shocked face.

"Daughter?" She managed to get out. In truth, she had not given a single thought to the gender. But learning it is a girl...she is truly surprised. Perhaps on a subconscious level she had assumed a child of Aizen's would be a boy. She is not sure how too react. How would Aizen handle a daughter? How would she handle a daughter?

"Yes, a beautiful baby girl." He says with a smooth smile. He takes Ichigo's silence as an opportunity to take another sip of tea. "I sensed the gender the first moment I touched your stomach." He admits to her, "But I wanted to keep it as a surprise." Ichigo says nothing in response too that.

In the next several months, a nursery adjoined to her room is built. It is green, with a garden theme; with flowers painted on the walls and crib. She is not sure what to make of the design, she didn't expect Aizen to go out with all pinks. The false God seemed to favor white, but white would be horrible for a nursery.

She can now feel the baby start to kick on occasion; but unlike most expected mothers, Ichigo gives no emotion to such an event. Not event a negative reaction. Despite carrying the baby for several months, she is detached too it. She once heard that when a woman is pregnant she begins to bond with the baby more so than the father. But Ichigo feels no suck connection to the life she carries inside her. Aizen puts up the act of happy expectant father, but of course she knows it's fake. Then for a moment she feels pity toward the little baby girl in her stomach. She is entering the world to two parents; neither one seem to care much for her.

Then it happens, she is alone in her room as always. Her belly is big and about to birth. When it does. She immediately gives out a cry which causes her female arrancar attendant to rush to her side. When she the wetness on the lower half of Ichigo dress. She immediately, gets a wheelchair (that was put in place just for this) and helps her into it. The arrancar attendant speeds her away to a birthing room (That, once again, had been designed for this.) and helps her into the bed. The pangs of labor start to take it's toll on Ichigo's strong body. She had endured so much pain in her life from battles and training, yet nothing compares too this.

She gives groans of pain until an arrancar doctor enters the birthing room. He immediately uses the equipment in the room to numb her pain, and Ichigo has never been so thankful to an arrancar in her entire life. However, that is not saying much. Her labor continues for the next several hours. She is too caught up in the pain and pushes of childbirth to worry about Aizen. The medicine doesn't null the pain completely, she can still feel the movements. The birth lasts several hours, but it feels like an entire day to Ichigo. Finally, her body erupts into one final push as an infants scream fills the air. Ichigo gives a sigh of relief as the arrancar and turncoat shinigami doctors do their work.

She closes her eyes. She hasn't seen her daughter, yet. But she hears her cries as the doctor's clean and check her. Then she feels their approach. She looks up to see her female arrancar attendant, smiling proudly. In her arms is a bundle wrapped in pink. Ichigo can't see the baby's face, but she knows that it is.

"Here she is; beautiful and healthy." She announces and then begins to place the newborn into Ichigo's arm. Ichigo thinks to protest this, but the arrancar is too quick. In a moment she is looking down at the pink and wrinkled face of her newborn daughter. Ichigo stars at the longest time into the baby's face. The first thing that struck her is how tiny the baby is; so helpless. At that moment the resentment she felt toward it seems to be foolish. The realization strikes her and she begins to cry.

She can't hate her daughter...but she knows this girl's fate is sealed from birth. She is the daughter of Aizen in the end. Her life will not end well. She is meant to be a pawn somewhere in her father's plans and there is nothing that Ichigo can do about it.

"I'm...so sorry." She whispers to her infant, "But I can't protect you. I am sorry." She senses the female arrancar attendant over her.

"Mistress...birth must have overwhelmed you." She states at Ichigo's tears. "Let me take the baby away if it is too much for you, right now." She holds out her arms for Ichigo to give her the baby. Ichigo nods her head no, and the female arrancar drops her arms and moves away. Giving the mother and daughter some space. Ichigo continues to hold her until it gets dark. Then the doors open. Ichigo doesn't look up. She knows damn well who just entered. She instinctively clutches her baby closer to her chest.

"Aizen-Sama" cries the doctor, "Congratulations!" The doctor tells him. She hears Aizen's voice, but not his words. She is too tense for such a thing. Her stomach feels with lead as she feels his approach and is ready to throw up, when he is over them.

"She is beautiful." He says, softly. Ichigo still doesn't acknowledge him. She wants to erase him from this world...from existence. His physical presence is just a remainder that there is nothing she can do to protect her daughter from him. She keeps her face to her baby; as she hears the squeak of a chair being pulled up to her bedside. Aizen is silent for a while, before he speaks.

"May, I hold her?" He asks. His voice is so gentle. She doesn't look at him and ignores him. As though, just ignoring him can make him go away.

"Ichigo, let me hold her." He repeats again. There is something firmer to his tone that Ichigo recognizes. A warning. She just gave birth. She is in no shape to fight him. She looks over to him for the first time since he entered the birthing room; slowly and with extreme reluctance she hands her daughter over to her monster of a father.

Aizen takes her into his arms and begins to rock her softly. He smiles down at his newborn. Ichigo stares at the scene and fells a sickness at her stomach at such a sight. Aizen gives the glow of being a loving father...but Ichigo knows the truth so damn well. For a moment she wishes she was as naïve as Hinamori and completely blind to her daughter's dark future. It squeezes her heart and she has to speak.

"Please..." Her voice is soft, barely there, but Aizen hears it and looks up at it.

"Please, what, Ichigo?" He asks. Ichigo turns her face toward him and looks him in the eyes.

"Whatever you are planning for her...don't do it." She pleads, even though she knows it's useless. Aizen would need a conscious to consider others in his goals.

"What am I planning?" He asks, his voice innocent.

"I don't know...but it is something horrible. As your daughter...she already has a dark fate ahead of her. She is a pawn in her schemes in some way. I don't know what you are planning, but I am begging you not to do it." At this Aizen smiles at her and she feels her heart cut in two.

"Ichigo, must you always think the worse of me?" His tone almost sounds hurt, but his smile ruins the effect completely. He is not even trying to hide his intentions of using his daughter as a pawn at all. His smiles at Ichigo tell her 'there is nothing you can do to save your daughter' and he's right and she's known that for so long.

"You have only shown me the worse." She responds coldly and looks away. Another silence passes between them.

"She needs a name." Aizen says, breaking the silence between them. Ichigo hadn't even thought of a name in all her worries and it matter little to her now.

"I like Miyuki." He tells her and Ichigo doesn't respond. She doesn't really care.

"Fine." She says, coldly. But she thinks,

_I'm so sorry, Miyuki, but there is nothing I can do to protect you from him._


	4. A father's life

Miyuki is a normal by all signs. She mostly sleeps and eats. The hairs on her hair look to be a dark orange. Her color tainted by Aizen's. How fitting. Her arrancar attendant wants to be the one to look after the baby mostly, but Ichigo refuses to let her. Ichigo despite herself has come to love the child she has given birth too. She feels no resentment for her baby girl, just to the man who fathered her.

Ichigo finds her daughter easily becoming the center of her world, her escape from the world and Aizen. But at the same time she knows that the daughter is a constant reminder of her current relationship with the man who stole God's throne. She breasts feeds her baby whenever Miyuki needs it. Aizen never complains about the late hours she stays up; though he once voices concerned that she is not getting enough sleep and offering a nurse. Ichigo refuses because she doubts that Aizen is just doing it out of concern for her well being, and because she doesn't trust most arrancar women because they are jealous of her so called status with Lord Aizen.

So she keeps her daughter to her breasts and everyone else at a distance. She wishes she could keep Aizen at a distance, but it is impossible. It sickens her at how good he is at the loving father act. He holds her every morning before he goes to do his work and every night he asks about her. He rocks her, kisses her, takes care of her, and by all accounts seems to love her. While Ichigo will admit it is possible for Aizen to have an attachment to their daughter though she doubts it is like the bond she had with her own father.

Her father, her sisters, where were they? She doesn't want to think and she doesn't want to ask. Her father is a former captain of the court guard squad and a strong threat to Aizen's rule. She knows that Aizen logically wouldn't have let him go around free...much less live. She doesn't cry at the thought of her father being dead. She knows it seems heartless, but she has shed her last tear long ago. Her concerns turn to her sisters. If they are alive then they have no one protecting them. Ichigo doesn't want to think about the fate of young girls in this world by themselves. It troubles her, it troubles her deeply. A part of her is extremely tempted to ask Aizen about it, but she stops herself. He might use her concern for her sisters against her and very likely he wouldn't give her a straight answer. Damn that man who had claimed over stolen godhood.

One thing she can say about Aizen is that he hasn't tested her since the birth of their daughter. Likely, he wants to leave her alone in the first few months of motherhood. However, that comes to an end one night. Miyuki is about six months old now. The baby is starting to try to learn how to crawl now, she lays on the floor trying too pulled up with her tiny hands and kick her little feet. Ichigo is in no rush to encourage her daughter to develop too quickly. She doubts that her daughter will ever have a period of innocence again, once she begins to talk and be able to listen to her snake of a father.

One evening she is holding Miyuki to her breast to nurse her, and Aizen comes in and gives her pleasant greetings to them, as he pulls up a chair. As usual, Ichigo doesn't acknowledge him and the false God doesn't force her too. She ignores his gaze at her as she focuses on nursing her child. It is late in the day and Miyuki is caught between hunger and sleepiness. She is slightly fussy and she gives more cries and is moving more. Ichigo has little doubt that she will go quickly to sleep once her tummy is full of milk.

"So how is she? Looks like she is making quite the fuss." Aizen comments casually. Ichigo knows she can't press her luck by ignoring him this time.

"She is just tired. Once she is full she'll go to sleep." She tells him simply, hoping that will end any further comments, but in inside she knows that is far from the reality of how this conversation will play out. An uncomfortable (At least for Ichigo) silence passes as she waits for Aizen make his invertible comment. She can feel it in the air, tonight would be a test.

"I have been thinking, Ichigo." He tells her. He doesn't say what it is. She knows it is now her turn to speak. She swallows and does so.

"About what?" She looks down at Miyuki and tries to focus as much of her attention on her as she can.

"Well...we have been together for over a year and have a beautiful daughter." At this Ichigo can't remain passive.

"You speak as though being with you was my choice." Her gray eyes now looks up to him with anger and hate. She can't forgive this. She just can't. She can't let him set there and talk and though this whole situation was her choice.

"Oh, really, Ichigo? Would you have rather your friends been thrown to my Espada? I gave them a chance to live. Wasn't that generous of me? And all I asked for in return was you and haven't I treated you well? Look around? You are in a beautiful warm room with a sweet daughter in your arms. Can you deny that I've been good to you, Ichigo?"

"Your generosity came at a price. A price I live with everyday. I don't know if my friends are alive, or not. You took them from me and locked me away as your prize."

At this she feels Miyuki begin to stir more. The babe is reacting to its mother's anger. She quickly looks down and begins to rock her, and forces herself to calm down. She hears him chuckle, she looks up to him shaking his head with a bit of an amused smirk on his face. Of course, he is more amused than offended at her words. He always is. Sometimes she wonders if he just thinks of her more as a misbehaving puppy than the lethal enemy she once was.

"Oh, Ichigo. You are so prideful. I truly admire that about you, I truly do." He takes the teacup to his lips and drinks from it, before speaking again. "But please let me get back to the point that I was trying to make."

"And what would that point be?" She asks on edge.

"I think it is time we talked about marriage." If Ichigo had been holding anything else, except Miyuki, she would have dropped it. Her mouth fell open, she was completely stunned. Marriage?

"What the hell, Aizen?" She quickly scoffs at him, "Have you gone completely nuts." At this he gave his usual smile that had the faintest hint of evil intentions.

"My what a novel reaction for a woman to have to a proposal." Ichigo continues to glare at him. "So I take it as a no? Or perhaps a hidden yes." She stares at Aizen for a few moments and blinks.

"You are giving me a choice about this?" She doesn't quite believe it to be so.

"Why yes I am. I don't want to have a wife that didn't want to be with me."

"But you don't have that kind of thoughts toward a concubine?" She icily questions him.

"No," He shamelessly admits, which only agitates Ichigo further. She is tempted to take Miyuki and finish feeding her on the rocking chair in her nursery. She makes up her mind and starts to get up.

"So I take that as a no to marrying me." He asks so casually, but in a manner that makes her freeze. She hates how he can do that. What would he do if she rejects his offer. Looks like she would find out. She turns back to him.

"I'll die first." She hisses. He just gives a nod, as though it was a simple no.

"If that's how you feel I can't change that." Ichigo pauses and waits for him to say something. Perhaps punish her, or do something to unsettle her. She doubts she has passed his test. But what would he have done if she said yes? Would he have just laughed at her for believing this. Maybe this is all some game to him. She gives him a growl before heading to the nursery and finishes feeding her daughter and settling her in for the night.

The next weeks pass as normal as they can for Ichigo. Aizen doesn't bring up the refusal of her marriage to him. She wonders if there will be a moment when it comes up and Aizen reveals his elaborate plan to bring her down again, but nothing of the sort comes up. In the meanwhile, Miyuki finally starts to crawl, it is only short and slow burst, but it makes Ichigo proud, none the less.

Then one day it happens. It is early afternoon, she is sitting in the floor with Miyuki on her lap as the baby has a small block that she is playing with in her hands. Aizen comes in. This immediately alarms Ichigo; she knows something is wrong. Aizen never shows up in the middle of the day, always in the late evenings.

"What are you doing here?" She immediately questions. Aizen gives her an impression of a puzzled look.

"Why Ichigo...I live here." He smiled so gently at her. It makes her sick

"You never show up this early...and there probably isn't a good reason for it." Aizen continues his gentle smile of his. He must know how sickening it makes her feel, or else he wouldn't do it so often. By instinct she clings Miyuki closer to her chest.

"Oh, Ichigo." He lightly scolds her, "You must always think the worse of me, but I came here because I wanted you to see someone." She narrows her gray eyes at him.

"And who might that be."

"Oh, it is a surprise and I think Miyuki should meet him too." Her eyes now widen and she moved her baby closer to her.

"No, I don't know what you are going to do to her, but I won't allow it." She grips her child as though that in itself would protect her from Aizen. He only smiles more.

"You really think I would hurt my own daughter?"

"Yes," She responds in a heartbeat. Aizen simply shakes his head.

"Come on Ichigo...I think you'll want to meet this person too. It is someone you already know...very well." She freezes at this. Someone she knows? Her mind runs over the possibility of countless friends, allies, family, and even enemies that she hasn't seen in over a year.

"Who is it?" Her voice gives off more want that she wishes for. But it is true she wants to know who this person is. Is Aizen doing something horrible to them, or what? His false smile only widens at this question.

"You'll gave to see and bring Miyuki." 

"Why does Miyuki have to come?" She questions him, not wanting her daughter to be part of any dark plan of his.

"Because I am sure this person would be very interested in meeting our daughter." The way he says 'our' daughter puts Ichigo into a panic. Now, it is not just not wanting Miyuki to be part of her father's schemes, but also she can't bare the humiliation of someone she cares for, or at least respescts knowing she had Aizen's child. She begins to shake her head. She sits Miyuki down and gets up.

"The answer is no. I don't know what kind of game you are playing, but I am not going to be a part of it, and neither is Miyuki." He steps toward her.

"Forgive me, Ichigo, for such a misunderstanding, but I didn't mean to make it sound as though you had a choice in the manner. My greatest apologies for that misunderstanding." This makes her blood freeze, even though it should come at no surprise to her. Aizen takes what he wants, as simple as that. Whether it be her, or all of creation.

"Well?" He breaks her train of thought. Ichigo stares at him and then gives a reluctant nod. It doesn't matter how much she resists he'll get his way in the end. Was there even a point in picking her battles when she loses every time?

"Fine." Shoe huffs and then picks up Miyuki, "We'll go." She angerly whispers. He smiles warmly at her.

"Let's go, Ichigo." He lightly grips her around her waist and leads her forward before lowering his arm. She follows him deeper and deeper into the bowels of the palace. It gets darker and her heart beats faster.

"Aizen...where are you leading us? I don't want Miyuki to be scared." The baby is now resting her head against her mother's shoulder. Miyuki seems unaware of the tension in her mother, probably too lured asleep by the darkness and quiet.

"Oh, be more patient, my dear. You will soon see. I wouldn't lead Miyuki into danger." She doesn't like him referring to her as 'his dear', but she doesn't want to start a fight over this. He leaders her deeper and deeper. Finally he opens the door and come to a completely dark room with a narrow staircase. Aizen offers her his hand and she sees little choice, but to take it. She couldn't risk dropping Miyuki.

So with one hand grasping Aizen's and the other tightly clutching her daughter to her chest, they descend down the dark and narrow stairs. As they reach the bottom, she hears a rattle of something. Something heavy. Then the lights come on and for a moment she is blinded by the sheer light after being in the dark for so long.

"Damn, you Aizen!" She heard a familiar voice cry. She freezes...that voice. She looks down to see Shinji on the ground chained to wall, but he wasn't the only one. Beside him was...her father. For the longest time they stare at each other.

"Ichigo..." Her father whispers. She immediately looks down in shame and turned to the side, as though she could hide Miyuki, even though he had defiantly seen the baby.

"Aizen, what the hell have you done to Ichigo!" She hears her former mentor scream at Aizen. She didn't have to look to see it, but she knew he was smirking now. Not smiling, no longer hiding his pleasure in his former captain's outrage.

"Oh, what do you mean, Captain Shinji?" His voice was so casual, but she could just taste the sick enjoyment in it.

"Why the hell does she have a baby?" She hears his chains rattle, as though he was trying to get up to choke Aizen, which he probably would have tried if not for the chains. Ichigo only lowers her head in shame. Humiliation burns in her cheeks. Damn Aizen, damn him to hell. She should have fought against him more against coming here despite him saying she didn't have a choice.

"Because she got pregnant." He reply's as though it is obvious. This only helps to agitate the vizard further. His chains rattles more and Miyuki starts to fuss. She clearly can sense the anger in the room and the deep discomfort of her mother. Ichigo lightly pats her back, as she tries to smooth the baby and unsuccessfully smooth herself.

"Are you the fuckin father?" Shinji growls at him.

"I ask you nicely not to talk that way in front of my daughter." Aizen says in his ever calm voice. At this it looks like Shinji makes a lunge toward him, but is stopped from the chains.

"You fuckin bastard! I will kill you for fuckin touching her!" Ichigo cringes as she knows what will happen next. A cry of pain is heard and she turns her head to see Aizen with his blade out and Shinji bleeding in pain.

"I asked you politely to not talk like that in front of my daughter." Ichigo turns back to the chain men and walks in front of her father. Her head was still low in shame.

"Forgive me...please forgive me." She whispers and rocks the babe in her arms.

"I don't blame you, Ichigo. I could never blame you." She hears her father's voice and it is the first thing that puts her at ease since her daughter. Then her father cuts his eyes towards the father of his grandaughter.

"But I blame _him._" Her father shoots daggers at Aizen. The man in question seems to give no reaction to this. Ichigo now turns her attention to the bleeding Shinji. He looks at her and his eyes are full of pain, not just physical either. Ichigo can't bare to look at him even longer. She now looks back to Aizen.

"He needs to see a doctor." She tells him.

"I don't see the point of that...considering they are both going to be executed tomorrow." She gasps and turns white.

"Why did you bring me down here then! What is the point of showing me my father and my friend if you are just going to kill them." At this Miyuki begins to stir, sensing her mother's anger.

"Because I am giving them a chance to live." Ichigo cuts her eyes back to her father and Shinji and then back to Aizen.

"And I take it I can do that."

"No, not you, but a queen." Ichigo is not sure what to make out of his words. Then she realizes in this world the only way a woman can become queen is to become to the wife of the only king left in this world.

Her choice is clear. It is either marry Aizen, or see her father and friend killed.


End file.
